Muttered

There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered a few words in his sleep and found himself divorced.

Wrong Ring

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

Bed Of Roses

They say, "Marriage is a Bed of Roses". Yes, this is true. Except that the booms have been plucked!

Bachelors

If you say that all men are fools. It's not true. Some are bachelors.

Torniquet

A wedding ring is very much like a tourniquet. It prevents your circulation.

Marriage Like A Continental Restaurant

Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

Union

Marriage is a union. It is a union of souls, a union of hearts, a union of minds and a union of thoughts. But soon you will have to pay those union dues.

Thin and Fat

When I too the marriage vows I was told that I would go through thick and thin. I didn't realize that I would also have to go through thin and fat.

Marriage is a gamble

Marriage is a big gamble for a man. But for a woman, marriage is not a gamble. It's a calculated risk.

The Word Marriage

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence - a life sentence.

Marriage is like chocolate

Marriage is just like a box of chocolates. You have to buy the whole box just to get one little pieces.

Marriage Like Lottery

Marriage is like a lottery. Except in a lottery, at least you still have a chance.

Marriage Certificate

A marriage certificate is just another name for a work permit.

Marriage Ring

Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two rings under the man's eyes.

Lust To Dust

Incomple

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished.

String Attached

Marriage is very much like a violin, after the sweet music is over, the strings are still attached.

Willingness to Force

Before marriage, men willing to give credit card to their loves' one. After marriage, men are forced to give their credit card.

Love is Blind

Marriage is Love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

3 Rings Affair

Marriage is a three-ring affair; first comes the engagement ring; then comes the wedding ring; then comes the suffering.

Marriage Jokes 1

When a man holds a woman's hand - before marriage is love; after marriage it is self defense.