Marriage Jokes

Tender

2007-02-10T13:41:00.000-08:00

Husbands generally grow very tender after ten years of marriage. However, any chunk of meat gets tender if you out in hot water for long enough.

Calculated Risk

2007-02-10T13:40:00.000-08:00

Marriage is a big gamble for a man. But for a woman, marriage is no gamble. It's a calculated risk.

Thin and Fat

2007-02-10T13:38:00.000-08:00

When I took the marriage vows I was told that I would go through thick and thin. I didn't realize that I would also have to go through thin and fat.

Nice to be Married....

2007-02-08T22:39:00.000-08:00

It's nice to be married. To be able to relax, sit and the couch with a glass of beer in your hand and all night...watch your wife's favourite programmes.

Better to have Loved

2007-02-08T22:38:00.001-08:00

It is better to have loved and lost thatn to be married and bossed.

Wonder

2007-02-08T22:36:00.000-08:00

When a newly married man looks happy we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy - We wonder why.

Love is a Quest

2007-02-08T22:26:00.000-08:00

A lecturer delivering a talk on the demoralizing effect of legal seperation said, "Love is a quest; the proposal a request; the giving in marriage a bequest; the actual marriage, a conquest."

"What is a divorce?" a voice from back asked.

Swift as lightning came the reply,"Ah, that's the inquest."

Longer

2007-02-08T22:25:00.000-08:00

It's not true to sat that married men live longer than unmarried men - It's just seems longer.

The Word "Marriage"

2007-02-08T22:23:00.002-08:00

Marriage is not a word - It is a sentence - a life sentence

Love and Time

2007-02-08T22:23:00.001-08:00

It has been found that love makes time pass and time makes love pass.

Love And Marriage

2007-02-08T22:22:00.002-08:00

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

Love And Marriage

2007-02-08T22:22:00.001-08:00

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

Love is Blind

2007-02-08T22:21:00.000-08:00

It is said, "Love is Blind." - That's true, but marriage is an eye-opener.

Girl's hand

2007-02-08T22:20:00.000-08:00

When a man asks for a girl's hand in marriage, he doesn't realize that it includes the thumb under which he will ultimately be.

Golden

2007-02-08T22:19:00.000-08:00

They say, "Silence is Golden." This is why most of the married men are prosperous.

Marriage

2007-01-04T18:12:00.000-08:00

It needs two to make a marriage. A bride and an anxious mother.

Double Crossed

2007-01-04T18:11:00.000-08:00

A bachelor is a man who has been crossed in love. A married man is one who has been double crossed.

Marriage Is Fun

2007-01-04T18:09:00.000-08:00

Marriage is lots of fun. It's the living together that causes all the problems.

Too Late

2007-01-04T18:02:00.000-08:00

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real hapiness was until I got married, and then it was too late."

Africa Marriage

2007-01-04T18:00:00.000-08:00

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I Heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?

Dad: That happens in most countries, son.

How Much Does It Cost To Get Married?

2007-01-04T17:58:00.000-08:00

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."

Marriage is an Institution

2007-01-04T17:57:00.004-08:00

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's.

Happy Marriage

2007-01-04T17:57:00.003-08:00

A happy marriage is a matter of give and take. The husband gives and the wife takes.

Marriage Game

2007-01-04T17:56:00.001-08:00

Marriage is a wonderful game. It's the only game where two can play and both can win.

Marriage Is Wonderful

2007-01-04T17:55:00.000-08:00

Marriage is wonderful. If You see a bachelor you will find he has no buttons on his shirt. But If you see a married man... you will find he has no shirt.

Muttered

2006-12-23T05:22:00.000-08:00

There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered a few words in his sleep and found himself divorced.

Wrong Ring

2006-12-23T05:21:00.000-08:00

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."

Bed Of Roses

2006-12-23T05:20:00.000-08:00

They say, "Marriage is a Bed of Roses". Yes, this is true. Except that the booms have been plucked!

Bachelors

2006-12-23T05:04:00.000-08:00

If you say that all men are fools. It's not true. Some are bachelors.

Torniquet

2006-12-23T05:03:00.000-08:00

A wedding ring is very much like a tourniquet. It prevents your circulation.

Marriage Like A Continental Restaurant

2006-12-23T05:01:00.000-08:00

Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

Union

2006-12-23T04:58:00.000-08:00

Marriage is a union. It is a union of souls, a union of hearts, a union of minds and a union of thoughts. But soon you will have to pay those union dues.

Thin and Fat

2006-12-18T01:43:00.000-08:00

When I too the marriage vows I was told that I would go through thick and thin. I didn't realize that I would also have to go through thin and fat.

Marriage is a gamble

2006-12-17T07:16:00.000-08:00

Marriage is a big gamble for a man. But for a woman, marriage is not a gamble. It's a calculated risk.

The Word Marriage

2006-12-17T07:15:00.000-08:00

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence - a life sentence.

Marriage is like chocolate

2006-12-17T00:12:00.000-08:00

Marriage is just like a box of chocolates. You have to buy the whole box just to get one little pieces.

Marriage Like Lottery

2006-12-17T00:05:00.000-08:00

Marriage is like a lottery. Except in a lottery, at least you still have a chance.

Marriage Certificate

2006-12-17T00:01:00.000-08:00

A marriage certificate is just another name for a work permit.

Marriage Ring

2006-12-16T23:58:00.000-08:00

Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two rings under the man's eyes.

Lust To Dust

2006-12-16T23:12:00.000-08:00

Incomple

2006-12-16T23:11:00.001-08:00

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished.

String Attached

2006-12-16T23:10:00.001-08:00

Marriage is very much like a violin, after the sweet music is over, the strings are still attached.

Willingness to Force

2006-12-16T23:04:00.000-08:00

Before marriage, men willing to give credit card to their loves' one. After marriage, men are forced to give their credit card.

Love is Blind

2006-12-16T23:02:00.000-08:00

Marriage is Love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

3 Rings Affair

2006-12-16T23:00:00.000-08:00

Marriage is a three-ring affair; first comes the engagement ring; then comes the wedding ring; then comes the suffering.

Marriage Jokes 1

2006-12-16T22:59:00.000-08:00

When a man holds a woman's hand - before marriage is love; after marriage it is self defense.